Thursday, January 22, 2009

What I Meant to Say

Since I'm newish to blogging I haven't carved out a mission statement or a theme. I just spill my guts for public consumption. My last post about belonging in an environment where I'm not sure I fit in was posted with naive confidence. I didn't really polish my writing. After I clicked the Publish Post button, I panicked. What did I just do? Were people going to think I was referencing them as the crazy parents? Was I saying I didn't like where my kids went to school? Was I revealing some kind of affluence prejudice? Yowza.

Here's what I really want to say. The majority of the people at my kids' school are fantastic. There are a few crazy loons, but you're gonna find that anywhere. I worried right after I posted that I was betraying the one rule I had set for myself, in sharing info that needn't be shared. The double edged sword of writing: wanting to say something without hurting or opening up a can of confusion and interpretation.

As for the fitting in thing, well, turns out, everyone struggles with that at one time or another. I heard from several readers who feel like outsiders looking in at others' much more glamorous lives. The thing is, once I started developing those friendships, the feeling of not belonging evaporated. Funny that. Its the logical progression. Being in relationship makes the outsider a "belonger."

Okay. That's not all but I'll save it for now.


  1. Oh, there's so much to say! I could go on and on about the issue of belonging and social line-walking. I could say so much about the line-walking we do as bloggers, putting our minds and hearts out there for everyone to examine.

    This might sound obvious, but I feel like I should say it because it has taken me so long to learn and embrace it: You absolutely have to be true to yourself, both in your friendships and your writing.

    If you're in a friendship that feels blocked in some way, or if you're writing about something that you can't be completely honest about, then you need to fix it. That might mean not writing about that thing at that moment, or it might mean seeking different friendships. It also could mean the freedom of "coming clean" with people, in life and on your blog, and assuming that anyone who can't handle it is someone you don't need around, anyway.

    Of course, I know it's far more complex than that, especially where your husband and kids could be affected, but every time you can let go of facades you'll be happier. (And I know you know this, but I just wanted to affirm.)

  2. Dear friend. You are right. And I feel like the friendships are good, but yes, there are some issues I'd like to address in the blog that I know I will never be able to. I'm just not that brave. Maybe when I'm 64!